Day 104- the decision
This has got to have been the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life. I have agonised over it all weekend, changing my mind about every ten minutes. I woke up at about 2am on saturday morning and decided that I was going to adopt the “wait and see” approach, but of course then a couple of hours later – after lying staring at the ceiling for two hours – I had changed my mind again. I did however receive some words of wisdom from a friend yesterday (thanks Mel xx) that the decision I made in the wee small hours was probably what my heart was telling me to do.
I therefore let the oncologist know this morning that I did not want Liam to have to go through the localised radiotherapy, the risks just too high and the side effects too numerous. I would also like to wait for the opinions from the US and Australia – if they recommend radiotherapy then I will consider it, but we will monitor Liams progress as it is for now.
Now that I have made the decision I feel alot better as it has been a particularly rough time and I have probably never felt the loss of Matt more than I do at this moment as it is a decision we should have been making together.
I now await the “experts” opinions before progressing any further, and I can try and turn my mind back to studying all about the New Zealand Taxation system *yawn*.
Take care
Becs
Tracey & Shamus
Tusha, Iain, Max and Giana
James
Nic, John & Steven
Robyn Radomski
Donna & Stan Hooper
Kerry Burfoot and clan